


Rock + Paper Beats Glove?

by OnAWhim



Series: Avengers By Association [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Korg is hilarious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 19:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14754452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnAWhim/pseuds/OnAWhim
Summary: What happens after the dusting?Spoilers if you haven't seen Infinity War. (What are you doing reading fanfics? Go watch it!)This story follows the truly awesome comedic duo of Korg and Valkyrie and they figure out what to do with their lives now that Thanos has destroyed half the universe. Revolutions, fighting, drinking, and hilarity follow.





	1. No Place Like Home

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of a collection of stories which will be interwoven in sequels, but they should also read okay as stand alone works if that’s what you’re looking for. There are four stories in the first stage of this series, so I highly encourage you to check out the rest. :) 
> 
> This is my first time trying to write something like this, so I welcome any and all feedback. Also, comments make my day, so drop a line.

The Asgardian ship was a mere speck in her field of view. Brunnhilde was still trying to process the loss of Asgard. When she closed her eyes now, images of the city she had sworn to protect burning in flames joined the images of her fallen Valkyrie sisters. She had a feeling tonight that the slain Aesir on the floor of the main ship would join her nightmares. She hadn’t seen them personally, but she could guess their fates. She felt unworthy of the survival mission Thor had sent her on, but he was the king and, truth be told, she hadn’t really wanted to die at the hands of Thanos. 

She wanted to think they might have survived, but she had heard the distress call. Even Thor couldn’t stand up to Thanos. Still, maybe with Thor, Loki, the Hulk, and the few remaining warriors they had managed to be okay. Still, if they had survived, she would have expected to hear something from them by now.

Being left alone with her thoughts in the tiny escape pod would have been bad enough, but she had been forced to share a ship with a Kronan entirely too fond of asking questions about how she was feeling.

“Scrapper #142, where are we going right about now?”

“Nowhere.” She sighed, “We’re drifting in space.”

“Oh! Knowhere! Cool! Always heard it was an okay place to visit.”

“No, no. I mean we’re not actually going anywhere. There’s not a good place to go.” She paused. “And you can call me Valkyrie.” Why wasn’t there any alcohol on this craft. If she had her way, there’d be an emergency store of alcohol on every craft in the universe.

“Cool, cool. Valkyrie. As you know, my name is Korg. I’m still made of rocks.” 

She rolled her eyes. They needed a plan. “Where do you think we should go?” Why was she asking him? This was a true low.

“Well we should probably avoid the big purple guy everyone was so worked up about.”

“Indubitably.” He was made of perishable rocks. Maybe if she just…

“Can’t go back to your place.”

“Nope.” She said, popping the ‘p’.

“Could go to my place. Probably would be pretty awkward. Only people there I really know are my mum and her boyfriend, who I hate.”

“They have alcohol on this planet of yours?” A whole planet of Korgs. It sounded like hell.

“Well it’s more of a moon than a planet. And it’s not so much alcohol as it is certain things that just don’t really belong in a pile of rocks if you know what I mean.”

“Let’s go there. It sounds like a blast.” She said sarcastically, but set the destination for the Kronan home world. Nothing better to do. 

“Oh, man. I should probably start thinking about what I’m going to say to my mum.”

“You do that, Korg.”

“Alright let’s see… ‘Hi mum, it’s me, Korg. Your son. I’m not in prison anymore. Had my first successful revolution, so that was great.”

Valkyrie was trying her best to tune out the ramblings of the rock.

“…Looking to start another soon. I’ll get you a pamphlet as soon as I figure that out.’”

“What was that you said?” 

“Uh,” I said, “Hi mum, it’s me, Korg. Your son…”

“No, no. About the revolution.”

“Oh, yeah, that was next. I had my first revolution that worked. You should know. You were there for part of it. Did I never tell you the rest of that story?”

“What did you say about starting another revolution?”

“Oh, I’ve got to do another to build my portfolio. Can’t have anyone thinking this last revolution was a fluke.”

“That’s brilliant. We can start a universe-wide revolt against Thanos.”

“Woah, woah, that’s a little ambitious, don’t you think?”

She didn’t answer and they sat in silence for a little while. Then a thought occurred to her and she asked, “Hey Korg, what ever happened to your little friend Miek?”

“That’s a good question. Miek? Miek?”

She raised her eyebrows. There weren’t exactly any good hiding places on a craft this small. 

Korg shrugged. “I could have sworn he was here. Maybe I left him on the ship.” 

She laughed. “Or maybe he just vanished into thin air.”


	2. Meeting the Family

The Kronan moon was exactly what Valkyrie had expected: rock. In the reflected light from the gas giant planet it orbited, the barren rocks gave off a gray color with only the barest hints of blue and orange. Massive craters littered the surface, no doubt impacts from the many moonlets in the planet’s ring system. Thinking it would be an inconspicuous place to land the ship, Valkyrie targeted a medium-sized crater. Korg was being unusually quiet. 

She thought back to her flight back to Asgard. She’d been preoccupied and not only because she was thinking about how to defeat Hela. There was something complicated about returning home to some place you’d never planned on seeing again. Maybe they should have flown somewhere else, but they needed to go somewhere and there weren’t really better options. 

It was only a short distance to the crater now. Unfortunately, it was less discreet than she’d been hoping for. With a final dull thunk, their ship touched down upon the dusty crater floor. Stepping out, Valkyrie saw the movement of Kronans approaching from the edge of the crater. Her hand automatically fell to her blade, reassuring herself that should this come to blows, she was prepared. She saw now that the crater wall was actually dug into for homes and other buildings. She’d essentially landed in the main square. 

Before long the greeting party had reached them. It was an assortment of a half dozen Kronans, ranging in size and rock type. Luckily, Korg finally found his voice.

“Hello, my name is Korg. I used to live here. This is my friend, Valkyrie. We’re looking for my mum.”

At this declaration, the other Kronans looked surprised. The tallest of them spoke, “Have you not heard?”

Valkyrie glanced at Korg who showed as much confusion on his face as she did. 

The Kronan continued, “Our people have been the victims of a great plague. The mightiest rocks have turned to dust as if shattered in the arena.”

Valkyrie looked at the dust over the crater floor that her boots had already left footprints in. She wondered if she had just committed a great offense. 

Seeing her gaze downward, the Kronan said, “Fear not, this but the dust of nonliving rocks. Kronan sediments are much finer. Now, which sector does your mother live in, Korg?”

“Well, it used to be 7-RH.”

“And her name?” The Kronan tapped into a flat electronic device.

“Tolca.”

“Ah, here she is.” The Kronan paused. “She was destroyed by the plague, but she does have a partner you could visit.”

A somber silence filled the area. 

Valkyrie asked, “So this plague, what do we need to do to make sure we don’t catch it while we’re here?”

“It is a most curious thing. We’ve never seen anything like it. A couple of days ago, about half of our people were just destroyed. No warning signs, no remedy. But everyone else seems fine now.”

Valkyrie thought back to what Loki had been telling her and Thor just after the large ship had come upon their vessel. Thanos had wanted to destroy half of the universe. She wasn’t clear on the specifics of how this would be accomplished, but even she knew the infinity stones carried untold power. She asked, “Have you reached out to nearby star systems?”

“Of course. All the same with them. We’re thinking it could be an undetected radiation pulse that’s affect this region of the galaxy.”

“It’s Thanos.” Valkyrie said. Something on this scale: who else could do this?

“One man who has never set foot on our world did this?”

“He probably has all of the infinity stones.”

“I will bring this to the council. You’re welcome to stay here for now. We have plenty of recently vacated spaces.”

Valkyrie turned to Korg. “Let’s find a place to stay. We’ll figure out what to do tomorrow, alright?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Are you okay?”

“I can’t believe my mum married that boyfriend I hate.”

Valkyrie didn’t know what to say to that, so she simply followed the other Kronans as they led them into the crater walls, down through the tunnels that led to the living quarters in the interior of the moon.


	3. Convincing the Kronans

When she awoke, she had no concept of what time it might be on Kronos, nor a clear idea of how long she’d slept. Korg must have woken up earlier, as she did not see him in the adjoining room. Easing open the door that led into the corridor, she looked around. No one in sight. 

She should have paid more attention yesterday when the kronans had led them down here. There weren’t any signs to point the way. She supposed the kronans were either familiar with the layout or could discern finer changes in the rock of the walls than she could. She decided to make a guess and started down the left side of the corridor. She felt small walking through the tunnels which were large enough so as to allow two or three kronans to walk side by side. 

Finally she heard voices at the far end of a branch off the main corridor. Turning down the hallway to follow the sound of voices, she found her path blocked by two kronans. 

“Uh, hi.”

The kronans didn’t respond. 

“I’m looking for Korg. Or drinks.” When they didn’t answer, she tried walking past them. 

That got a response. Both raised their arms to block her way. The shorter of the two said, “This hall is off limits. Strategy meeting. Back to quarantine, creature.”

“Look, I’m new here. I get it. But if there’s a strategy meeting going on, I think your boss is going to want me in there.” They didn’t look convinced. 

Valkyrie sighed. “Oh well, I tried doing this the easy way.” With that she turned, walked a few steps back towards the main corridor, spun, and got a running start towards the two kronans. Vaulting into the air, she landed atop the shorter kronan’s shoulder and flipped over behind him, continuing to run down the hallway. The two kronans gave chase, their long strides making up for their slow gait. 

There. A few paces more and she’d be at the door with the voices. She pounded on it with her fist, generated a loud and unpleasant clanging that echoed down the hallway. The door opened.

Inside, she saw several kronans, including one or two she was fairly certain she recognized from yesterday. There, at one corner of the table, was Korg. 

“Oh, hey, you’re awake.” Korg said, standing. 

The two kronans she’d escaped in the hallway caught up, grabbing her by the arms.

Valkyrie raised her eyebrows and cast a significant look towards the kronan who appeared to be in charge. He was large and his rock had a dull pink tint to it that made him stand out from the others in the room. 

“Put her down.” The kronan ordered. 

The two kronans dropped her, but she managed to land on her feet. They left to return to the hallway and closed the door behind them. 

The dusky pink kronan spoke again. “That was quite the entrance, …”

“You can call me Valkyrie.”

He nodded to a seat across the table. “I’m General Rhyol. I lead Kronos’s military strategy. This,” he said, gesturing to the kronan seated to his left whose rocks were a dark gray that was nearly black, “is Admiral Desite, leader of Kronos.”

“It’s an honor.” She said, trying not to let the sarcasm bleed to heavily into her tone. Maybe that’s why Korg was being so quiet. She didn’t know what the political customs of his realm were.

“We were just discussing what to do with Korg, seeing as how he escaped his punishment for his last, shall we say, promotional disaster.”

“I think you’d rather be asking yourself what you can do for Korg.” Valkyrie responded with a quirk of her head and a small smile.

“Oh?” The general looked appalled. 

“You see, the thing is, you’ve got this plague on your hands and your people are going to want answers. Korg and I are the only ones with those answers and we’re offering you a chance to be a part of The Revengers.”

General Rhyol gestured for her to continue, so she did.

“We know who caused this plague and we’re part of a team that’s going to kill him.”

“And who is a part of this alliance? It seems that you two are all alone.”

“Actually, we’re not. In fact,” she said, “Korg is kind of the leader of two entire refugee populations from Asgard and Sakaar.”

“Asgard fell. Everyone in the galaxy knows that there is nothing left of the once mighty realm.”

She drew her blade. The kronans in the room all stood in response to the perceived threat. Laying the blade over its sheath flat in her palms, Valkyrie explained, “This, is a dragon fang, the famed sword of the Valkyrie. And Valkyrie is not my name, it’s my title. In case you need a little history lesson, the Valkyrie are the fiercest squadron of Asgardian infantry known to the galaxy. And I’m still here. So I’d say that you can trust you that the might of Agard is very much still here and very much pissed off and ready to fight.”

Admiral Desite whispered something to General Rhyol. There was silence as those who had stood took their seats and Valkyrie returned the green blade to its sheath. 

General Rhyol declared, “We’ll require some time to think this over, but if you truly have a way to attack the one who did this, we will not stop you. We may even decide to help.” 

Valkyrie nodded. 

Then, Rhyol chuckled, “Korg, it seems your time as a gladiator has served you well. You’ve returned to ask us to pick a fight. You and your friend may access whatever resources you will need to prepare to leave. A ship, supplies, just tell my men. We’ll reconvene in a few days to decide whether Kronos will stand with you on your mission.”

Korg stood. “Why thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you're reading this work along with the other three fics that go with it, I'd love to hear what you think about splitting up the story like this. Leave a comment!
> 
> If you're not reading this work along with the other three, guess what? Haha, I'd still love a comment.
> 
> Y'all are the best. Thanks.


	4. Snowball Effect

The stars spread out before her. Pieces of small rocks drifted behind them.

“Ok, so where are we going now?” Valkyrie asked Korg.

Their ship from the kronans had cleared the orbit of the small rocky moon. Unfortunately the kronans had refused to join their hunt for Thanos until they actually knew where he was. She couldn’t blame them, but they needed a force that would intimidate anyone with knowledge into handing over the location of the mauve mad titan. 

“Oh, well, you see, I don’t actually know. I was thinking we go back to the wreckage. See if anyone’s about.”

If her hands weren’t on the controls, she’d have facepalmed. “You mean you don’t have a plan?”

“This was the plan. We get a ship. Some allies.” 

For someone who wanted to start a revolution, Korg was in desperate need of some better planning skills. Valkyrie groaned. “But we don’t have allies. And Thanos is still out there.”

“Oh, well, I can see where that might be a problem.”

Out of habit, she looked around wistfully for any bottles on the ship. Unfortunately kronan military vessels didn’t appreciate the necessity of having drinks aboard. She looked back at the steering controls and continued the conversation with Korg, “So where can we go that will fight with us against Thanos?”

“Isn’t everyone pretty mad at him?”

Talking to Korg was always like this, she was learning. “Yeah, but everyone’s busy with their own problems on account of half the universe disappearing.”

Korg chuckled, clearly not picking up on the annoyance Valkyrie was radiating. “So we’re looking for a planet that doesn’t really care about their own problems and is looking to fight?”

“Know any planets like that?” She asked, somewhat sarcastically.  
“A whole planet of people who are always ready to fight? That sounds like Jotunheim to me.”

“Jotunheim. That frozen hellscape? Do we have to go there?”

“It’s as good a place as any to start a revolution.”

Valkyrie adjusted the steering and set a course for the nearest passage to Jotunheim. “Fine, but if things go wrong, I’m blaming you. The last time I was in Jotunheim I almost didn’t make it out alive.”

~~~~~~~~~

A small orb loomed larger as the ship sped on. It was impossible to see any surface features yet, but that would soon change. 

“Are we there yet?”

“Korg, I told you, you’ll know when we get there.” Valkyrie replied through gritted teeth. The last few weeks alone with the talkative pile of rocks had been more than Valkyrie thought she could stand.

After a few more hours of inane questions, the icy debris was no longer a vague cloud around the planet. Instead, it was a bothersome field of ice chunks that had to be dodged. The small kronan ship didn’t have the maneuverability of the Grandmaster’s finest ships, but it would do. Valkyrie weaved around the jagged ice and started to enter the maelstrom of Jotunheim’s frigid atmosphere. The tempest of winds required a constant firm grip on the controls. 

“Uh, should we be concerned about that?” Korg pointed out the left window. 

“I’m a little busy right now, Korg. What is it?”

“There’s a bunch of really tall, really sharp mountains.”

“What!” Valkyrie spared a quick glance to see the famous frozen peaks sticking up too close. The winds battered their ship with increasing vigor as the craft lowered in altitude. So Valkyrie pulled their ship up towards the relatively calm winds and piloted around the main peaks. She looked for the dim lights of what would have to be the capital. 

Valkyrie didn’t see the hail coming. 

The onslaught came suddenly and before anything could be done, the ship was careening towards the capital, spiraling down, down, down…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. Work has been crazy. The stories are all starting to come together, though, and I'm excited about where it's headed. 
> 
> Comments make my day ;)


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